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Coaches Carol Bates and Hazel Irvine candidly discuss their menopause challenges and how they overcame them. Interviews by Hannah Duncan.
Hearing advice from experts on how to manage menopause symptoms is fantastic – but, as with many aspects of coaching, it can be just as instructive to hear personal stories from those who have been sharply affected.
We are grateful, therefore, to Carol Bates and Hazel Irvine for sharing their experiences with us.
Both coach in the UK, although at different ends of the country, geographically.
Carol is based in southern England and coaches the weekly Crawley Old Girls (Cogs) walking football sessions, delivering fun, non-competitive soccer to older women who are either learning or returning to the game. For her, menopause considerations are crucial.
Hazel coaches in Scotland, with the U18s at a girls’ academy of a Scottish SPFL2 club. She has coached children for the last 13 years, but her ambition is to progress to the Uefa A license and work for a male or female team at a professional club.
Menopause impacted her dramatically, causing a sharp decline in her mental health – but also sparked a turnaround in her approach to her coaching dreams.
WSC spoke to both to learn more...
Carol Bates (CB): I’ll be honest, I didn’t even know about perimenopause until I was involved in a #menopossibilities campaign with Women in Sport and Getty Images in 2019.
The conversation about menopause was quite limited. I was 53 at the time, so I must have just got on with it, like many women do. I now realise some of the things happening to me were perimenopause related.
At that time, I was just playing for enjoyment and hadn’t yet started coaching, although I had completed my FA Level 1 in 2017.
Hazel Irvine (HI): I have always been anxious and struggled with my confidence, but first noticed it getting worse in late 2019.
I felt I wasn’t making sense when I was coaching my girls’ team and felt all over the place, both physically and mentally.
I never let them, or their parents or guardians, see that I was struggling and always kept myself together. I went to see my doctor and she told me I was perimenopausal.
CB: I think I’ve been lucky, in that I haven’t had all of the debilitating symptoms that some of my friends have had.
It definitely impacted how I remembered things, such as the sessions I planned. I had to keep writing them down just to understand how to deliver them properly.
I tried not to forget the progressions but sometimes had to keep checking my notes during the sessions.
I also suffered with hot sweats, which would sometimes become uncomfortable, but at least I was with other menopausal women, so they probably didn’t even notice it.
HI: Menopause has affected my confidence and made me more anxious than usual.
It has made my mental health worse, and I have had to take anti-anxiety medication since my symptoms started.
I had a huge mental health breakdown, which resulted in me resigning from my office job and starting a football sports coaching degree at university.
I wanted to challenge myself and do something that I loved to improve my menopause symptoms.
It made me realise that life was too short and it was time to live my dream of becoming a coach at a professional football club.
CB: This may seem very basic but I would make sure I had my notes in my pocket and had every single point written down so it could easily be read.
I also made sure that I thoroughly researched and prepared for each session that little bit more.
HI: I sat two courses of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), which trained my brain to think positively and differently, and gave me useful strategies to cope with menopause.
CB: As the two coaches at our sessions, Tracey and I always discuss what we are doing prior to the sessions, usually the day before, and again just before the sessions.
We then know exactly what we are doing and can help each other out.
HI: My tutors at university are great with me and have given me lots of help. I have also joined a new club and helped coach their women’s first team, along with an U16 girls’ team.
My fellow coaches are great. They give me words of encouragement and allow me to take time off when I need it.
The players also stick by me and listen well when I give them instructions. When I get mixed up, they help me with my words.
CB: There is much more information out there now about perimenopause and menopause, so I would say just strike up a conversation about it.
Emma Hayes, in her last press conference at Chelsea, mentioned that she didn’t put enough oestrogen gel on for her last game. To hear someone like Emma talk about that in football is such a big step forward.
There are so many symptoms, like heart palpitations, brain fog and dizziness, so always be kind to yourself and don’t put yourself under too much pressure.
Educate your players at the same time so they also understand.
HI: My advice is to trust people to help you overcome your symptoms and be prepared to listen to them when they give you advice and support.
Even in the adversity of menopause symptoms, I have learned that I can overcome them by listening to and trusting my fellow coaches, players, and friends.
I have also realised that I am capable of anything in life and to think positively rather than negatively.
CB: It’s important that we ask male coaches to listen and be empathetic. When you are going through menopause, there are so many things going on in your mind and body. It’s difficult to understand when you’re not going through it.
"Check in every now and again with older coaches to ask about their wellbeing..."
If a female coach is hesitant in her instructions, or just forgets things, be patient. I would recommend they check out the brilliant Dr. Louise Newton’s website – she is a specialist in menopause – and learn how it affects women.
HI: Coaches need to become familiar with the symptoms and listen to and encourage their fellow coach.
CB: The first thing I would say is have a menopause policy and also somewhere quiet and comfortable for women to just relax, reset and communicate.
Check in every now and again with older female coaches, or players, to ask about their wellbeing.
At Crawley Old Girls, our demographic is mainly older women, so it’s not just the coaches who are going through perimenopause or menopause, but many players, too.
It’s very simple but make sure there is a comfortable environment and that the bibs fit. There is nothing worse for a woman who is suffering with reduced confidence, or none at all, to be given a bib that is too tight.
It’s the small things that make a big difference.
HI: Clubs need to run menopause in-house information and training evenings to educate staff and coaches to give menopause sufferers all the support they need.
Even at my age, I have realised that I can overcome my symptoms and fulfil my lifelong dreams.
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