Knowing your worth as a female coach

"You’ve got no idea about football"..."You’ll never be able to run a team"..."Why have they asked you to be a manager?"..."But you’re a girl?".

These were among the phrases I took on the chin when starting my coaching career in 2018.

These should be prehistoric comments. But the reality is, they’re still being said today. Even though I’ve doubled the women’s provision at my club, gained the team promotion in our first season and in the last 18 months have begun my new venture coaching full-time, individual self-doubt still haunts me because of those comments. 

It is often said that females in our sport have to work twice as hard as males in the game – and there’s a lot of truth in that. But even when we do, that ‘impostor syndrome’ niggles away at us, because somewhere in our minds we still believe we’re just not good enough. 

I must admit, at the start it affected the way I coached. I’d be absolutely fine, then boom - the comment ghost comes back and you start getting yourself in a right pickle because you’re overthinking every decision and detail.

I’ve even gone home in tears of frustration at myself because I let these comments get to me. Thankfully, it’s not happened often, but I’m not afraid to say it isn’t fair. 

So, this article is to all the women who have ever felt unworthy of their position in football. As the Dalai Lama once said, "With realisation of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world".

I could easily have turned away every opportunity given to me because of those comments. I’m so glad I didn’t because I wouldn’t be where I am today.

I have a growing blog, a brand and have managed to quit my job to follow my dream of working in football full-time. I didn’t do anything special or out of the ordinary to achieve that, I just switched off the negativity and worked hard to prove people wrong.

To any female reading this article, I urge you to know that you are good enough, and the support is there to succeed. 

"When you believe in yourself, you can achieve so much more than you can see..."

Women’s soccer is such a brilliant place to be. I’m never short of support from local female coaches, even if some of them are rivals on matchdays!

One awesome woman commented on a LinkedIn post of mine saying: “You’re giving me inspiration to become a coach, Freya. Football has always been one of my passions”.

My response was along the lines of ’you go, girl!’ and I offered my support if she needed it. When women support other women, incredible things can happen - I love being part of a community that values that. 

Sure, you may have to develop thick skin, but I think that’s football in general, whether you’re a man or woman.

I’m not saying put up with sexist or negative comments – far from it. But my advice would be to stand firm, know your worth and trust yourself.

When you start believing in yourself, you can achieve so much more than what you see on the horizon. 

In 2018, I began volunteering at a club. Two years on, I started coaching as a full-time job. Whether you’re FA Level 1 or have the Uefa A licence, you are good enough to succeed in our industry.

You have my full support in your journey.