How to surround yourself with the right people

Recognise coaching is always changing

"I think when I first got into coaching, I didn’t really know what I was doing. Then you realise you know nothing.

"Obviously, you’re never going to know everything - if you think you know everything, you might as well retire right now.

"Coaching is always changing; coaching 10 years ago is very different to now, and coaching in 10 years’ time will be very different to now.

"You constantly have to evolve and reinvent yourself, especially in the collegiate game in America, because you get players for four years, and then they transition out."

Surround yourself with people whose values align with yours

"To help you navigate those changes, find people who can help you through challenging situations, and make sure their values align with yours.

"I coach the person over the player, for example. If I was to work for a leader who wasn’t person-over-player, it would be very difficult for me to both be in that environment, and to actually apply it to how I would like to coach.

"I don’t think there are any shortcuts in life. But I think if there was one, it would be to apprentice under great leaders where your values align.

"That’s probably the only shortcut: to put yourself on an internship under some great leaders."

Reframe ‘mentors’ as ‘thinking partners’

"I don’t really like the word mentor, because it’s kind of a one-way relationship where you’re just picking from the other person.

"What you really want is a thinking partner, with thoughts going both ways - you’re helping each other.

"One of the things Becky would always say to me is that younger coaches actually help her more than they think because as an older coach, she has to relate to her players.

"If you do find a thinking partner, ideally you want one who is able not just to help you get a job, but once you get the job, help you navigate the job and challenging situations."

Get comfortable being uncomfortable

"Every place I’ve put myself in, I feel like I’m far from the smartest person in the room. If you are the smartest person in the room - you’re in the wrong room.

"I’ve put myself in environments where I’ve been uncomfortable every day. Every day I just have this pit in my stomach because I’m afraid I’m going to fail, or like I’m not going to kind of produce. The edge of your comfort zone is the place where you grow.

"That’s something else that I really like about working for the top leaders: they’re going to push and challenge you.

"There’s a quote I love: ’Who are you becoming as a result of the chase?’. It’s not just about me as a coach, it’s about who I am becoming as a person as well."

Challenge and be challenged

"When I worked at the University of Florida (UF), there were two associate head coaches.

"I was maybe 26 or 27, and there were a lot of times when I would say something and one of the coaches would shut me down straight away.

"The head coach kept telling me to keep speaking up as it was challenging him. They needed somebody to come in who hadn’t been there for 15 years, someone who had a different mentality and mindset because they had different experiences.

"You have to be okay with being challenged. You have to challenge your own ideas and you have to be okay when people don’t take your ideas.

"You have to put yourself out there, especially when you are young and inexperienced. Use the time when you’re young as an opportunity to find your voice.

"It was a challenge for me to work with male associate head coaches, but they respected me. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t respond to me.

"I think part of being a young coach is being able to throw yourself out there and know you’re just going to get kicked down.

"At UF, Becky Burleigh had a box of Q-tips on her desk. Q-tips stood for ‘Quit Taking It Personally’. 

"Something I really like about working for top leaders: they push and challenge you..."

 "If anyone ever took anything personally in her office, she would get a Q-tip out and throw it at them. If you do take things personally, you’re not going to have a long career.

Network without the end result in mind

"I’m not sure a lot of coaches really understand the importance of networking.

"It’s not about what you know, it’s more about who knows you. Fringe networking is so important.

"I have a lot of qualifications, skills and experiences, but it’s not enough to guarantee a new job or an instant ladder to a new job.

"Catch up with different coaches weekly, speak to different colleagues in your sphere. You want to build your network before you need it.

"A lot of coaches network, and think they’re going to get something out of the network. You might not get anything out of it, it’s just part of it.

"But you may get something out of it five years down the line. Networking should be a way of life, not just something you do because you need something instantly."

Reach out to other females

"As females, if a female gets fired, for example, I feel we don’t do a good enough job of reaching out to ask if they’re okay or need support. We just don’t do a good job in general of reaching out and creating networks.

"When I was at college, I did a lot of research on why there are not a lot of female coaches, and, ultimately, it’s because there are not a lot of females at the top in general manager or presidential positions, those who are doing the hiring.

"We need more females to aspire to be general managers, athletic directors, or roles of that calibre."