How to best communicate with your players

No matter how many times we ran through it, they just didn’t get it. They began to hold up the session and frustrate others who had understood it on the first attempt.

It even frustrated my assistant manager, who tried to show them in the exact same way in which I had already communicated.

One particular player got so frustrated at the attention they were getting that they stormed off into the dugout.

It was at that moment I realised I had handled the situation completely wrong, both in repetitively trying to show the session using the other players, and in showing my own frustration in my tone of voice and body language. I still regret it now.

The players concerned were clearly flustered, embarrassed, lacking confidence in themselves in front of their team-mates and frustrated they were holding everyone else up, too - and losing complete love for the game in that very moment.

It was my job to recognise this before it got to that stage - with hindsight, I should have taken the players to one side and allowed the rest of the session to continue, rather than make it clear they were struggling in front of the rest of the squad and staff.

I should have supported them at the side of the pitch, talking through their concerns, as well as the actions happening on the pitch with their team-mates, and asked them to rejoin only when they felt comfortable and understood everything - making sure to watch my body language and tone, too.

It turns out both players were confused by the language I was using - “What’s a switch in play?”, “Through ball?”, “Stand in the pocket?” - and I realised not all players have had the opportunity to be surrounded by soccer terms prior to their arrival with us.

 

"I should’ve taken them out of that situation and started again, with more empathy..."

When we hear things we don’t understand, it creates a negative atmosphere where our brain releases stress and anxiety-inducing hormones, which stops people from being attentive, creative and removes any potential perseverance in relation to all kinds of tasks. 

It was impossible for them to take on board any part of the session, no matter how much I was telling or showing them. 

I should have taken them out of that situation and started again, with more empathy and consideration towards their needs.

I could write all day about various ways to adapt communication by trying different things if a certain style doesn’t appear to be working.

I have learnt so much from my three-year-old, non-verbal son, whose special needs have required me to be totally adaptable and flexible in my approach to communication.

However, I’ll leave you with the advice that it is totally okay to make mistakes, learn to reflect and experience growth through the times we may communicate incorrectly within any given situation.

 
It is important to be transparent and honest in those moments. 

By admitting to those players that I had handled them incorrectly, and by apologising and adapting my communication styles when they needed it most, I was able to continue to have the pleasure of coaching them within my squad, as they chose to continue to put their trust and time in me.