5 things I've learned from coaching girls

This season, having previously only coached boys or men, I started coaching a girls’ team for the first time.

I had baulked at the chance to coach an U21 women’s team because I was unsure of how best to coach in the female game.

But when my daughter’s U14s team was in danger of folding due to not having a coach, I stepped up.

I wasn’t sure how my style of coaching would translate to the girls’ game. Now I’m three months in, here’s what I have learned...

 

01 Know your why

The biggest takeaway for me is that, more so than boys, girls want to know why.

When teaching a skill, the first response is usually: “Why would you do that?”. The question is genuine – they wanted to know the context for performing a skill.

 

02 Be supportive and challenging

When first presented with a task, the girls will often say “I can’t do that”. I’ve learned this is their way of expressing a fear of not being good enough.

I have had to demonstrate high support while maintaining a challenge. For example, I asked one player to play in a defensive role when she is usually a forward. She stated: “I can’t do that”; I answered with: “I believe in you, which is why I am asking you to do this”.

I have found that by expressing my confidence in the girls, they are more willing to give something a go. They are also very keen to show me once they have mastered it!

 

03 Girls internalise, boys externalise

This is a generalisation, but I’ve noticed the girls are a lot more internally focused. 

Both boys and girls grapple with their own insecurities and try to fit in their group, but the boys tend to display externalising behaviours – rough play, teasing, pushing and shoving and showing off.

The girls tend to be in small groups, usually buddied off with a close friend. It is only now, three months in, that we are starting to get them interacting as a bigger group.

I have spent a lot of time on group dynamics, getting players to interact and giving them all a chance in leadership roles.

04 Openness to learning

This group of girls are much more open to learning than the two teams of teenage boys I have previously coached.

I get a huge sense of satisfaction watching the girls implement the rules of the games in practice and seeing the outcomes as they try to achieve the task.

This openness to learning means I can be more creative and design training sessions that are more in line with my values of coaching, such as a lot more games-based activities.

 

05 LANGUAGE IS IMPORTANT

I have learned that some of the terms in football, that I would take for granted as assumed knowledge, the girls were unaware of.

I now check my players’ understanding of phrases before continuing with activities, by saying, for example, “Do you know what I mean by x?”.

The way I give feedback has also changed and is framed more in curiosity.